Defining Me

In a book and movie that I have come to love, the character, Liz, is asked what word describes her. She proceeds to go down a list of various roles she has played in her life, resolving that her word is writer, to which a friend replies, “But that is what you do, that is not who you are”. For many months now, I have tried to decide how this new word in my life- mother - fits. After 20 hours of labor, did the word 'mother' come and embrace me as I held little son for the first time? Does that word now describe me, in every aspect of my life? Am I a mother when batting my eyelashes at the cute cashier at the gas station? Am I a mother when scrolling through Pinterest, wasting time as I put together a board that only shows how self-centered I can be? Am I a mother when all I can do is sit and cry in front of my babe, because the pain of loneliness has finally caught up?

I don't have all the answers. I'm slowly realizing I never will. But with each day I learn a little more about what being a mother means. My respect for the mothers in my life has grown. And my outlook on the role of women, the role of my fellow females, has been completely altered from what it was a year and two months ago. This new stage of life is exciting. Observing the growth and development of my little one humbles me- nothing is more fantastic than the innocence of a child. It is no wonder to me anymore why we are encouraged to become like them.

They are our teachers.  

Him

When I made the choice to become a mother, I was completely ignorant of what that entailed. Poopy diapers, bath tub toys, onesies that need to be washed almost daily, swaddling blankets, socks, mittens to prevent the baby from scratching his face, baby lotion, baby Tylenol, baby shoes, baby toys, baby baby everything! From the moment that little ball of sunshine came into the world, my focus completely shifted. It was absolutely shocking, sitting in the hospital room, looking down at my little son, and feeling like nothing could ever happen in my life that would be more important than him, nothing could ever be more important than his needs. For the past 21 years of my life I had been completely centered on myself. What I was doing with my life, who I was with, where I was living, what the next activity would be- it was all about me me me.

Until it was all about him.

Little Son has so many people out there who love and adore him, I wanted to create a blog where they could follow his adventures, and also to help me define this new stage of life.